This week my heart is so heavy. As anyone that knows me well, knows and understands, my default mode is to find a silver lining. It is a gift and sometimes super annoying. I mean, sometimes you just need to be mad, annoyed, or sad. But my brain automatically find the joy, the happy, the good stuff. But this week, it just all seems too much. And my heart feels heavy. No easy-to-find silver linings.
There was some terrible, worrisome news about a dear one, some frustrations with health, a death in the family, some maybe not so great news at work, and the situation at our border. The news reports about children at the borders was the tipping point for me. It broke me. I cried. I do not do that when it comes to news that does not affect me directly. I care and I take action but rarely (if ever) do I take it on as mine. But this time is different. They are innocents. The problem is mine. It is all of ours. So I took the action steps I could take- made calls, wrote emails/letters, made some donations and signed up to volunteer. I feel I should do more, but it's what I can do for now.
Normally, those actions and steps should make me feel better and the heaviness in my heart should go away. But it's still there. I find I am carrying the weight of the issue on my shoulders and in my heart, along with all the other news (from my life) from this week. Sigh.
Now don't get me wrong, I have found moments of joy- laughing with my guy, hanging out with a hilarious mascot and creating new life goals, my silly pups and their innocence and cute/funny antics.
And then this...
Yesterday, I unexpectedly found myself in a waiting room with a million other patients waiting to get some blood work done. The waiting area was packed and I found myself in a little corner seated across from a couple. I didn't catch their names and actually didn't engage them in any conversation. I just listened to them- talking with one another and some ladies next to me. And I found tears coming to my eyes (not the heartbroken ones from earlier this week), happy tears. Tears that you get when something touches you deep in your heart. In those moments, I always feel like an imprint is made and that moment or feeling stays with you.
As they spoke, I learned they have been married for 33 years. He says it was love at first sight for him. For her, she says with a mischievous grin and a twinkle in her eye, it took her a date or two. Then she easily brushed his hand and held it. As their story continued and the ladies asked some questions, it was revealed that she has been battling ovarian cancer for more than 3 years. As I watched, I could see the tenderness and care with which he cares for her. There is kindness, love, and laughter in their interaction.
And then he says, "I am a humble man but the one thing I will always brag about are my girls- my beautiful wife and our two daughters. Each one is incredible because of their mother and her example." And with some tears in his voice and a softness of love, he moved to share the bench with her so she could rest her head on his shoulder.
This human kindness. This love. The seeming lack of it is what has made my heart so heavy. But this small interaction made my heart a little less heavy. Thank you for sharing you love and your story, whoever you are.
