I was with my mom when Aunt Jody called to tell her. In her true fashion, my mom went into "getting things done" mode. She was the big sister, telling the little sister all the things that needed to be tackled. Jenny held her shoulders, I just sat next to her. She needed to make sure the i's were dotted and t's crossed. It's just her way. (Let's be honest, I get it from somewhere!). Then she sat, and like a little kid, looked at us and said- well, that's that. Her shoulders slumped and she just didn't know what to do. I can be bossy (I know you are shocked), and I said- we are going. Put shoes on and let's go.
On the drive, she found comfort in the comments from the people who had seen that Grandma was in the process of dying from a Facebook post she had made earlier. She read them aloud to me and explained who each person was. We arrived and the nurse had just finished, my aunts and grandpa were sitting at the table drinking coffee and we waited. The aunts and mom worked on paperwork details. Grandpa just kept going back in to the room. Looking for his love and making sure she was still safe. That she was still comfortable.
In all honesty, I deal with death in a very different way than most. I am sad, of course, but I think I compartmentalize the loss so it's just not so overwhelming. That said, I am perfect in these scenarios-- compassionate and loving, but I hold it together so everyone else can fall apart. As I held my grandpa's hand and just listened to him talk about 65 years together, I looked at my mom and my aunts. My mom just looked so small. And my aunt Jody just looked like she needed a hug. These are two strong, powerful ladies, but they lost their mom so suddenly, they looked like little girls who were lost. My heart broke. My Aunt Tee was there and is a pillar of strength. She held my aunt Jody and will look after my grandpa in the days to come.
They asked if I would write the obituary. Contrary to what you think when you read here, it often takes me a few days before I actually write a blog post. I write it in my head while I am driving, or walking the dogs, or making dinner. Then once it feels right, I put it on paper. I did that when I had papers due in school and when I have to make life decisions. I am a processor. So, it took me a few days. On Friday, I finally sat down and wrote. When I went to submit, there was $778 bill! Um, what?! So, my mom, aunts, and grandpa opted not to post it anyway. (Totally makes sense!). (Also, at some point can we discuss the absurdity of the expense??)
I felt it should be posted somewhere, so here it is.
Shirley M. Lawrence (Trembath)
November 25, 1932 - August 19, 2019
On Monday, August 19, Shirley M. Lawrence took her last breath after dealing with an ongoing battle with COPD. Shirley was 86 years.
Known to her grandchildren as the fun grandma and to her countless nieces and nephews as the fun aunt, Shirley had a zest for life! She loved dancing, playing golf and playing cards. Always with the love of her life along side her. Over the years, her biggest complaint was that no one could ever keep up! Chatty by nature, Shirley never met a stranger. Everyone who met her loved her.
Preceded in death by daughter, Michelle Lawrence and her parents, William and Ann Trembath.
Married to the love of her life for 65 years, Shirley leaves behind her beloved husband John Lawrence, their two daughters - Christine M. Schulte (Ferd) and Jo Ann Lawrence (Tee), two grandchildren, Jessica Zamarripa (Frank) and Alexander Schulte (Jennifer) and two great grandchildren - Gus Alexander (age 5) and Jade Harper (age 3).
There will be a small private family service on August 30. A final toast will be made in her honor at BJ’s Bar, 5519 Lapeer Rd, Burton, Friday, August 30 @ 4:30 pm. Friends and Loved ones are welcome and wanted!
In Lieu of flowers. consider a donation to her beloved Durand Memorial Library.
Shirley will be missed by those who knew her and loved her and were loved by her.
