As I indicted in my last post, I lost a friend. I was able to attend her funeral and celebrate her life with those that loved her most. And while I wasn't super close to her, I was able to be there for those people who loved her with all of their beings. I could give a support touch when it looked like they were about to break. I could hug them. Of course, I got choked up. Who wouldn't? And while I didn't cry for me, I cried for those that loved her most. I put myself in their shoes and my heart shattered. I held it together for most of the day, even while talking to my dad. Then as I walked into my house, a neighbor complimented my outfit and asked where I had been that I needed to be so fancy (seeing as I normally wear jeans, tshirts, and yoga pants, a dress with heels was quite the departure). As I opened my mouth to explain where I had been, a sob escaped and the pieces of my heart spilled out in tears. Needless to say, I quickly explained and walked inside. Likely, that neighbor will never again compliment me. Whoops!
And while digesting that loss and it's effect on me, my work life, and people I love, I found out that an old friend lost his mother to cancer. I have not seen her since I was 16. The 'friend' was my first boyfriend. We've remained in touch via Facebook. When we broke up, it wasn't because we didn't like each other; we were 16 and not ever going to stay together forever. I could not have asked for a better first boyfriend. While together, I spent lots of time at his house and with his parents. When he shared that his mom had died, I, again, sort of quietly fell apart.
Then Thursday, some work stuff fell apart and made my world flip sideways. While not tragic, it was just one more thing. I have a super supportive team and know we can tackle it, so I took it in stride. But at the end of the day and at the end of that week it was just one more thing. Sigh. Following some heated chats on how to move forward, I mandated myself to walk away at 5pm and finally go see the Cherry Blossoms in full bloom before the rain and wind potentially swept them away on Thursday night.
The 2.4 mile drive from my house to the Tidal Basin took almost 2 full hours! Needless to say, this was the least pleasing decision I had ever made. I may have sworn more than a few times! I debated about turning around but decided it would be just as bad going home and I would be super pissed if I missed it, so just stuck with it. I got to the Tidal Basin and found super star parking (bonus), so I pulled on my long sleeves (it was getting breezy!) and walked toward the Basin.
It was, as expected, thick with people. And I now understand why. The cherry blossoms are magical. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. There were 1000s of people around this 2.5 mile loop of the Tidal Basin and everyone was grinning. Everyone was joyful. And somehow it was serene. Obviously, there was some maneuvering required and I got stopped quite often to take pictures for people. But there was such a sense of delight everywhere you looked. It was exactly what I needed.
A few week ago on a guided tour, the NPS guy mentioned something about the blossoms meaning and it's a little like a rebirth. As I walked about, I kept thinking about the meaning of the Japanese Cherry Blossoms. I looked it up today--
The cherry blossom is a very delicate flower that blooms for a very short time. For the Japanese this represents the transience of life. This concept ties in very deeply with the fundamental teachings of Buddhism that state all life is suffering and transitory. The Japanese have long held strong to the Buddhist belief of the transitory nature of life and it is very noble to not get too attached to a particular outcome or not become emotional because it will all pass in time.
The guide explained it a little differently and included something about the rebirth after the blossoms fade, it's close enough.
As I walked around and took in the essence of the fairyland, I kept thinking about that--after sadness and suffering, there is hope and it will pass to lead to new and better things.
There is always hope.
There is a silver lining coming.
There is a lesson to be learned.
There will be a rainbow after the rain.
There is beauty in the world. Sometimes I just need to drive through horrendous traffic and test the strength of my patience but the beauty, peace and magic is coming.
Moving into this week, I had hope for better things ahead. Sadly, my heart has been broken a little more. The tragedy at the Boston Marathon and then some of my loves have gotten some sad news. In both cases, the tragedy is not mine. But it affects people I love and thus I carry it in my heart. My hope is that everyone affected can get through that 'traffic' and find the magic and the peace even amongst the chaos of a thousand people.
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