Please and Thank you and other such things

When I was younger I had friends who would tease me about the way I answered the phone or the way I would ask for them when I called their houses. You remember back in the day when you actually had to call someone's home to get them on the phone and when (gasp) their mom/dad/sibling picked up? Or before call waiting (double gasp!)?*
Anyway, when I called I was taught to say "Hi, Mrs Soandso, may I speak with...?". And when I picked up the phone and someone asked for me, I replied, "this is she.". Polite. Nice phone etiquette. (In fact, that politeness won me some babysitting gigs over other of-age girls in the hood. well, that and my neat handwriting.) I digress again...
Being polite got me what I wanted-- the person I needed to speak with, the job, the respect I deserved. I was taught well. We said please and thank you all the time at our house. We knew that it was important. We were taught that you said those things out of respect for the person with whom you were interacting.
I have maintained that level of politeness into my grown-up life. When you get a gift, you send a thank you. When someone does something nice for you, you acknowledge them. (Anyone that follows this blog or knows me at all, knows I am huge fan of real mail and thank you notes are a big part of that.) My favorite blog, just did a little project about spreading the joy with thanks. Please and thank you, as I learned, can go a long way to help you get what you want and to make sure people around you feel appreciated for what they do for you.
Lately, in my job, I have really started to question the effectiveness of this way of thinking. People are not polite. They are entitled. They seem to not care. And are just plain rude. I'm not saying everyone, but I can confidently say it is a vast majority of people out there. From the produce lady who didn't see if I was okay when I slipped on a tomato in the produce section (another story for another time) to my arch nemesis at the parks office. I am polite and think of others. And yet others do not. No regard for others feelings, time, or need.
It is driving me crazy!
Miss Manners may have died, but the lessons she taught and the lessons every single one of us should have learned in Kindergarten (or before) should hold true even in adulthood. Possibly more so!
Say Please. Say Thank you.
Simply words that can make a world of difference! And can help make you acknowledge that others exist.
Things I will remember in my daily interactions and things I will remember when I someone of great power (note: not if, but when...)
Thank you!

*I do have to say, I somewhat miss the surprise of not knowing who is calling. And what do girls (and boys) do when they "like" someone now? You can't stalk them now. If you call more than once, they know! Man, that changes the way to communicate in the 7th grade! And what about prank calls?! That was such a fun sleepover game! Shucks-- kids are kind of missing out.

The Cherry Blossoms

It's been a complex few weeks. Testing me emotionally at seemingly every other turn.
As I indicted in my last post, I lost a friend. I was able to attend her funeral and celebrate her life with those that loved her most. And while I wasn't super close to her, I was able to be there for those people who loved her with all of their beings. I could give a support touch when it looked like they were about to break. I could hug them. Of course, I got choked up. Who wouldn't? And while I didn't cry for me, I cried for those that loved her most. I put myself in their shoes and my heart shattered. I held it together for most of the day, even while talking to my dad. Then as I walked into my house, a neighbor complimented my outfit and asked where I had been that I needed to be so fancy (seeing as I normally wear jeans, tshirts, and yoga pants, a dress with heels was quite the departure). As I opened my mouth to explain where I had been, a sob escaped and the pieces of my heart spilled out in tears. Needless to say, I quickly explained and walked  inside. Likely, that neighbor will never again compliment me. Whoops!
And while digesting that loss and it's effect on me, my work life, and people I love, I found out that an old friend lost his mother to cancer. I have not seen her since I was 16. The 'friend' was my first boyfriend. We've remained in touch via Facebook. When we broke up, it wasn't because we didn't like each other; we were 16 and not ever going to stay together forever. I could not have asked for a better first boyfriend. While together, I spent lots of time at his house and with his parents. When he shared that his mom had died, I, again, sort of quietly fell apart.
Then Thursday, some work stuff fell apart and made my world flip sideways. While not tragic, it was just one more thing. I have a super supportive team and know we can tackle it, so I took it in stride. But at the end of the day and at the end of that week it was just one more thing. Sigh. Following some heated chats on how to move forward, I mandated myself to walk away at 5pm and finally go see the Cherry Blossoms in full bloom before the rain and wind potentially swept them away on Thursday night.
The 2.4 mile drive from my house to the Tidal Basin took almost 2 full hours! Needless to say, this was the least pleasing decision I had ever made. I may have sworn more than a few times! I debated about turning around but decided it would be just as bad going home and I would be super pissed if I missed it, so just stuck with it. I got to the Tidal Basin and found super star parking (bonus), so I pulled on my long sleeves (it was getting breezy!) and walked toward the Basin.
It was, as expected, thick with people. And I now understand why. The cherry blossoms are magical. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. There were 1000s of people around this 2.5 mile loop of the Tidal Basin and everyone was grinning. Everyone was joyful. And somehow it was serene. Obviously, there was some maneuvering required and I got stopped quite often to take pictures for people. But there was such a sense of delight everywhere you looked. It was exactly what I needed.
A few week ago on a guided tour, the NPS guy mentioned something about the blossoms meaning and it's a little like a rebirth. As I walked about, I kept thinking about the meaning of the Japanese Cherry Blossoms. I looked it up today--

The cherry blossom is a very delicate flower that blooms for a very short time. For the Japanese this represents the transience of life. This concept ties in very deeply with the fundamental teachings of Buddhism that state all life is suffering and transitory. The Japanese have long held strong to the Buddhist belief of the transitory nature of life and it is very noble to not get too attached to a particular outcome or not become emotional because it will all pass in time.

The guide explained it a little differently and included something about the rebirth after the blossoms fade, it's close enough.
As I walked around and took in the essence of the fairyland, I kept thinking about that--after sadness and suffering, there is hope and it will pass to lead to new and better things.
There is always hope.
There is a silver lining coming.
There is a lesson to be learned.
There will be a rainbow after the rain.
There is beauty in the world. Sometimes I just need to drive through horrendous traffic and test the strength of my patience but the beauty, peace and magic is coming.

Moving into this week, I had hope for better things ahead.  Sadly, my heart has been broken a little more. The tragedy at the Boston Marathon and then some of my loves have gotten some sad news. In both cases, the tragedy is not mine. But it affects people I love and thus I carry it in my heart. My hope is that everyone affected can get through that 'traffic' and find the magic and the peace even amongst the chaos of a thousand people.

Loss of a Sparkler

Today, the world lost a sparkler. And I am sad.
My colleague and friend lost her 9 year battle with breast cancer today.
She was brave and graceful in the face of struggles that none of can truly understand unless we, too, go through it.
She made a positive impact on the world by sharing herself and sharing her journey. There were  pieces that only those closest to her will ever know. But everyone she met felt as though they were her best pal.
She was special.
She will forever be remembered.
Rest in Peace, dear Bridget.

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