It's the little things

As we get closer to our official wedding day and prepare for our ceremony (Thanks, Uncle Tim!), I have been giving a lot of thought to "us"- what makes us fit.

We've been together for three years now. In the scheme of life it's not that long. But looking back over the last three years, we've lived a lot of life. We've weathered job loss, moving in together, celebrating new nieces/nephews, meeting families, becoming part of those families. We've celebrated new lives, new jobs, new friends, new dogs (!) and so much more than I can recall as I type. We've also taken on being caregivers for F's aging mother. (the biggest challenge of all!).
So, all this to say- for practical purposes, we are already married. We are committed to one another through thick and thin, and without a piece of paper or a ring or an exchanging of vows, we are committed to one another through the ups and downs of this fabulous life. We support one another, and each help the other become who we want (and need) to be. Everyday is not perfect. Everyday is not joyful. But there are perfect moments in everyday. And there are joyful moments in everyday. And I, for one, can't imagine pairing my life with anyone else.

What I realize as I think about it- it's not grand gestures that make me want to stick around, it's the little things. It's the pat on the ass, the kiss on the top of my head, the reach across the bed to hold my hand, the hilarious text in the middle of the work day or the quick phone call just to check in. It's these little things that remind me I am loved and that I have a partner to traverse this life path with me.

I recently read this blog (I can't recall the name!), but came across this-
"Relationships aren't always a fairy tale. They're not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start. But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It's not a fire in your soul, but one in your hearth, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drift to sleep."

And I love that.

I'm looking forward to wedding and to the celebrating with those with we love. Let's be honest, it'll be a blast! We have amazing people!
But beyond that (and more importantly), I am looking forward to a lifetime of little things and to the rhythm and hum of love.

What moving means...

This morning, I chose to snuggle with dogs for a few extra minutes before getting up and facing the day (packing). As I lay there, my mind drifted to all of the things I needed to accomplish today. All of which revolve around the move (and packing!). From there, I started to lament the fact that I have moved every two years since I was 18. I am 36. That means since moving from my parents home after high school, I have moved 16 times.
- The dorms at MSU
- The sorority house
- The 504 house
- The Forest house
- back home to Mom/Papa's
- My Scottsdale apartment
- My downtown Phoenix apartment
- The Ahwatukee house with my roomies (and the pool!)
- The house next door to the homies and down the block from my HLP
- My precious Seattle garden cottage
- My darling DC English basement
- The Bedolla's playroom in Maryland
- Gabriella's room in Naperville
- The basement apartment at the Connell's in Glenview
- My charming apartment in Andersonville
- My apartment with Frank and the pups in Logan Square

DAMN. That is A LOT of moving. (My sincere apologies to those that keep an old school address book! I hope you've used pencil...)
While it's been an expensive and rather nomadic way to live, I would not change a thing! With each move, I have learned and grown. College moves are pretty self explanatory. Everyone moves during that time of their life. But the subsequent moves- the moves I have done since being a grown up, those are the ones that have really taught me about myself and about life.
My move to Scottsdale was a full on risk (and adventure!). I moved sight unseen to Phoenix for a new job. I made that one happen in 10 days. I got a little help from the Dude and I was on my way. The moves within Phoenix were all about finding my way and discovering the city that I called home for 7 years. My move to Seattle was me trying to find a place to settle, a place to call my home. And it was the loveliest place to call my home for the 2 years I lived there, but life had other plans and new adventures- so it was across the country to take on new work challenges and be nearer to my favorite little family in DC. Living with the families I did between my time in DC and in Chicago was a temporary fix for a transient time. I realized during that time just how lucky and how loved I am. How lucky am I to be invited to stay for an extended frame of time and share another family's home? Those months were truly some of my very favorite. Once I found my Andersonville place, I knew it would be home. It was cozy and so very 'Chicago'. I decorated with floral and it was ultra girlie! The perfect place to have ended my time as a single gal. Once F and I decided to move in together, this place was the very first that I wasn't fully moved into within a month. I was shocked when I realized that, but my smart mama pointed out that for the first time I had distractions-- a person whom I wanted to spend time with and enjoy a conversation and two dogs who need and deserve snuggles. Who wants to unpack when I could be spending time with the three beings I love so much?!
Well, now we've come to next big life adventure which means another move. I am now more than just me. I am a We. And when you become a We, you see the worries of your person and take them as your own. So, We have invited Frank's mom to come to Chicago to live with us. That means we needed to find a place with a first floor bedroom and a neighborhood for her to feel comfortable. We found a wonderful home with plenty of space for us, for her, for the dogs, and for our loved ones to come to Chicago for a visit. (Really, please come! We'd love to host you!)
This will be move #17 for me. And I think it will be one of the best yet. While I am completely over the process of moving and really do hope this is it for some time, I am wise enough to know that you never know what opportunity will arise and what move we will need to make. But I am crossing my fingers that whatever opportunity comes up, it is one that means we can stay in our new home. In the meantime, I am going to take full advantage of this chapter and be grateful for the stories and life that will be lived in this place to fill this chapter in the story of my life.
And seriously, this place has a pool. I mean, for real, I am going to be the happiest lady come warmer weather. ;)
Now, enough procrastinating, I need to get back to packing boxes.