A life of Happy Chaos

I have been meaning to write this for two weeks. 

Life. Events. Work. It all gets in the way. 

But here we go...

Two weeks ago, I married my person. We hosted 70 friends and family and celebrated our love for one another and for those we love. And it was perfect. 

I mean it. Everything was exactly as it should be. 

It was more than just a few hours, it was a whole weekend. I was very skeptical when Frank said he wanted to host Thanksgiving the day before the wedding. I mean, seriously. Who does that?! Well, apparently, we do. And it was THE BEST day! We hosted 25 adults, 7 kids and 5 dogs. It was literally happy chaos. I loved every single minute. I found myself looking around and just watching. Then I'd get choked up. It was our people, all together. I looked at my husband and he just twinkled- all day. It was loud and busy and so very happy. And we hadn't even gotten to the wedding day yet! 

By 10am on Friday the house was filled with people and chaos once again. And once again, I kept finding myself pausing, looking around and taking it all in. And it was so joyful. And again, I kept choking up. My heart was so full. It was all my favorite people in one place, all together. Joy. 

Instead of recapping the whole of everything, I am just going to list my very favorite moments:

• Getting a manicure and pedicure with my mom and Papa
• Enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee and conversation with my mama before we got busy building centerpieces and cooking turkey
• seeing Frank's eyes twinkle with joy as our home was filled with so many we love
• hearing conversation and laughter in every room of our house
• watching our people make connections with one another and becoming friends
• laughing with my brother about "losing control"
• seeing C fall head over heals for Walter
• enjoying a quiet cup of coffee, snuggles with my pups and writing my vows before the happy chaos began again
• seeing Maria obviously feel so pretty after her hair was done
• Hot Pink Sparkle shoes (both pair!)
• sharing quiet moments with each of my munchkins
• Steph helping the girlies do their nails and figure out what hairstyle they wanted
• Gus telling Jenny she was the most beautiful momma in the world
• helping get Gus and Jade ready (before mom and dad helped)
• having a quiet moment getting ready with Jenny
• laughing with my First Dude (again)
• laughing with Erica (always)
• the moment my mom saw me in my dress- she doesn't cry anymore and couldn't stop.
• hugging my dad
• seeing Frank in the kitchen when he didn't know I was watching. He was so handsome
• learning that Walter is fiercely protective of his pack
• walking into the venue- it was so beautiful (Papa, Uncle Tim and the crew did such a good job)
• being able to hug and greet people when they arrived
• the little shared moment with Erica before we all walked down the "aisle"
• laughing with my dad and discussing whether or not he should carry the truck down the aisle
• the dudes all carrying a beer (and walking a dog!)
• the remarks
• the vows
• forgetting (and then remembering) the rings!
• being with all of our people

Like I said, it was more perfect than anything I ever expected. It was truly the perfect way to begin a marriage. To begin a life of happy chaos. 

It's the little things

As we get closer to our official wedding day and prepare for our ceremony (Thanks, Uncle Tim!), I have been giving a lot of thought to "us"- what makes us fit.

We've been together for three years now. In the scheme of life it's not that long. But looking back over the last three years, we've lived a lot of life. We've weathered job loss, moving in together, celebrating new nieces/nephews, meeting families, becoming part of those families. We've celebrated new lives, new jobs, new friends, new dogs (!) and so much more than I can recall as I type. We've also taken on being caregivers for F's aging mother. (the biggest challenge of all!).
So, all this to say- for practical purposes, we are already married. We are committed to one another through thick and thin, and without a piece of paper or a ring or an exchanging of vows, we are committed to one another through the ups and downs of this fabulous life. We support one another, and each help the other become who we want (and need) to be. Everyday is not perfect. Everyday is not joyful. But there are perfect moments in everyday. And there are joyful moments in everyday. And I, for one, can't imagine pairing my life with anyone else.

What I realize as I think about it- it's not grand gestures that make me want to stick around, it's the little things. It's the pat on the ass, the kiss on the top of my head, the reach across the bed to hold my hand, the hilarious text in the middle of the work day or the quick phone call just to check in. It's these little things that remind me I am loved and that I have a partner to traverse this life path with me.

I recently read this blog (I can't recall the name!), but came across this-
"Relationships aren't always a fairy tale. They're not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start. But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It's not a fire in your soul, but one in your hearth, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drift to sleep."

And I love that.

I'm looking forward to wedding and to the celebrating with those with we love. Let's be honest, it'll be a blast! We have amazing people!
But beyond that (and more importantly), I am looking forward to a lifetime of little things and to the rhythm and hum of love.