Saying goodbye

As I am metally (and otherwise) preparing to leave Seattle, I realize I am clinging to those things and people I love here. I am taking a minute to appreciate the little things I don't always see.
Since moving here, I have been on the road for two weeks out of every month on average (sometimes more, sometimes less). So when I was home, I just wanted to be home. In my space. On my couch. Eating homemade things. That work travel prompted my inner- hermit to make a huge showing. Don't get me wrong, I have gone out and been social. I have met new people and experienced new things.
As I am embarking on the preparation for this new chaper, I realize there were things I have missed because I was enjoying the luxuries of being home. I didn't venture to the market every weekend. I didn't even walk down the hill and check out the Sunday market every week. Easy peasy walk. But I am doing all those things now. Absorbing everything I can before I go. I have taken my camera out each day and documented one thing I enjoy and/or something I will miss. I have made sure to go my favorite restaurants and treat places. I need to fill up on cake from Simply Desserts, burgers from Norm's, clams at Chinooks, the taco salad from Taco del Mar, Pad woon sen from Tawon Thai and of course, good coffee! I know there will be new favorite places. But I just feel like I need to fill up the tank before I go...just in case.
My pals around here have been nothing short of fantastic. They have welcome my Julie McCoy cruise director-ness and been totally on board fror all kinds of random plans and fun. We've done all kinds of fun things that I likely wouldn't have been so moved to do. The weather has been nice, which helps. Field trips to parks, boat rides, random tours, trips to the top of the Space needle, random happy hours, lunches, concerts, and nights on the town. And while we're having fun, I am absorbing them, so I can take a piece of them with me. To carry in my heart.
e.e. cummings has a poem --

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

 

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

 

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e. e. cummings ~

(Complete Poems, 1904-1962)

 

I love this poem. I love it because so many of my loves life far away from me, but as I've grown I have realized that they are with me always. They are in my thoughts as I do something new or scary or incredible. They are there becasue I carry them in my heart.

So, while I might be leaving Seattle, the people and places will be carried with me. The friends will remain friends and the places will always be thought of fondly. I will look forward to couch-surfing at those friends houses when it's time to indulge my need for the PNW (or to escape the nasty humidity of DC in summer). And I will look forward to sharing my new city and new loves with the old.

So, it's not really goodbye. It will all be with me. And that is comforting.