No longer just an inner old lady.

Today, for the first time since turning 30, I felt old. Like really old. I mean, super duper old. And not like when I talk about my inner old lady, cause let's be honest that's a choice rather than an age thing.
No, this was a "damn" moment. When you stop and think about the way you look and maybe even feel a little bad about yourself. Humph!
So, here's the story. I was out running some errands and had a gift card that was going to expire at the GAP.  I didn't think I was going shopping when I left the house, I only intended on going to the Uhaul store for some packing supplies, but then I fgured today was as good a day as any to pop over and see what I could snag (fingers crossed with the gift card, it would be free!). I wore casual grubbs to the Uhaul place, I mean come on I was going to pack some boxes. I was going to get dirty and I frankly was not going to get gussied up for the dudes at the Uhaul store. I took a shower. I had on clean clothes. Probably better than most, I'd say. Anyway, there I was at the GAP sans makeup and maybe a little grubby looking---tshirt and jeans, hair in a pony. Ultimately,  I did not find anything for myself, but found cute outfits for my munchkins. (I heart that kids clothes is so cheap! Obvs not when you are buying it all the time, but for this auntie it always feels like such a bargain!). I picked up the two items (which I am happy to say ended being free with the card!) and was checking out.
The friendly 16-year old cashier asked the ever popualr. "oh, do you have just girls?".
I said, "no, these are for my god-daughters" (while not 100% true it's better than saying for my cousins girls or saying nieces when that's not right either.).
And she replied, "Oh for your grand-daughters". That's so nice." She then proceeded to explain all the great things her grandmother bought for her as a kid.
I had no words and kind of just stared at her. Most likely with a raised eyebrow and my jaw on the floor. But no words. And kind of wanted to punch her in the face. I did not. I didn't even say anything as I walked out the door.

Yeah. That really happened.
I am 32.
And yes, I do have a fairly large wrinkle in between my eyebrows (I blame my dad for genetics on that one.)
But on no planet do I look like any grandmother I have ever known. I guess in some world's, I could have had a baby super young and then that baby grew up and had a baby super young (which makes me sad that that happens). But come on!
Like I said at the beginning of the tale, today I really felt old.

Anyone know any good botox docs?! ;)
Just kidding! (well, kind of....)

Saying goodbye

As I am metally (and otherwise) preparing to leave Seattle, I realize I am clinging to those things and people I love here. I am taking a minute to appreciate the little things I don't always see.
Since moving here, I have been on the road for two weeks out of every month on average (sometimes more, sometimes less). So when I was home, I just wanted to be home. In my space. On my couch. Eating homemade things. That work travel prompted my inner- hermit to make a huge showing. Don't get me wrong, I have gone out and been social. I have met new people and experienced new things.
As I am embarking on the preparation for this new chaper, I realize there were things I have missed because I was enjoying the luxuries of being home. I didn't venture to the market every weekend. I didn't even walk down the hill and check out the Sunday market every week. Easy peasy walk. But I am doing all those things now. Absorbing everything I can before I go. I have taken my camera out each day and documented one thing I enjoy and/or something I will miss. I have made sure to go my favorite restaurants and treat places. I need to fill up on cake from Simply Desserts, burgers from Norm's, clams at Chinooks, the taco salad from Taco del Mar, Pad woon sen from Tawon Thai and of course, good coffee! I know there will be new favorite places. But I just feel like I need to fill up the tank before I go...just in case.
My pals around here have been nothing short of fantastic. They have welcome my Julie McCoy cruise director-ness and been totally on board fror all kinds of random plans and fun. We've done all kinds of fun things that I likely wouldn't have been so moved to do. The weather has been nice, which helps. Field trips to parks, boat rides, random tours, trips to the top of the Space needle, random happy hours, lunches, concerts, and nights on the town. And while we're having fun, I am absorbing them, so I can take a piece of them with me. To carry in my heart.
e.e. cummings has a poem --

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

 

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

 

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e. e. cummings ~

(Complete Poems, 1904-1962)

 

I love this poem. I love it because so many of my loves life far away from me, but as I've grown I have realized that they are with me always. They are in my thoughts as I do something new or scary or incredible. They are there becasue I carry them in my heart.

So, while I might be leaving Seattle, the people and places will be carried with me. The friends will remain friends and the places will always be thought of fondly. I will look forward to couch-surfing at those friends houses when it's time to indulge my need for the PNW (or to escape the nasty humidity of DC in summer). And I will look forward to sharing my new city and new loves with the old.

So, it's not really goodbye. It will all be with me. And that is comforting.

 

 

Schoolyard hijinks!

Big meanie.
That is what I am calling Seattle weather these days. A big fat meanie. I am sure I could think of lots of other things, but that seems most appropriate.
It has been literally gorgeous outside for 3 weekends in a row (and most days in between). Honestly, I am starting to think it might be Seattle's way of saying, "nah, nah, nah, nah!".
It's not making me question my decision to move, but it's definitely not helping my cause. Saying goodbye to the scenery and mountains is going to be TOUGH.
And this nice weather is NOT helping. At all!
According to the local weather station, we (Seattle) have not had three weekends of weather this nice since the 1940s. Are you kidding me???
Honestly I really do love it.
I have enjoyed every minute of it that I can, but come on!
This loveliness just makes it that much harder to depart. 

Yesterday, I had some work commitments north of the city and had a spectacular view of Mt Rainier. Seriously, breath-taking. I was driving along (taking the scenic route, like a true Schulte) and there it was. In all its glory---Mt. Rainier. Large, beautiful and perfect.
Big meanie!

The Big move.

By now, mostly everyone knows the news of late in my world.
I am moving to Washington, DC.
It's not earth-shattering, but to some it was quite surprising. If you are an avid reader of this blog (when I actually keep up with it...) many, many, many of my posts over the last two years have touted the wonderousness of my beloved Seattle.
It's true. I love it here.
The Pacific Nowthwest has such an awesome vibe. Recently it was named as one of America's coolest cities with the hipster crowd. I agree. But I am not a hipster. Though I can appreciate their quirk.
But more than being filled with the "coolest" people in America (because let's be honest, I really only know a handful of people here...really.) The Pacific Northwest (PNW for those in the know) is filled with some of the most beautiful scenary I have ever seen in my life. Between the mountains, the greenery and the water, you cannot ask for much else. I will forever be in awe of the mountains. My midwest heart still finds them wonderous. And again, how a 14,000 ft mountain can just appear as if out of nowhere will forever baffle and delight me. The proximity to so much water does bring my inner-fishy significant joy and comfort. Add in the fishing boats and the character that seems to ooze out of every neighborhood and you have a rather lovable place. At least for a wanna-be cool kid like me. ;) But as a wise person once said, You can love a place with your whole being and still be totally fine living someplace else. I agree! Seattle and the rest of the PNW (Junea, AK included) will forever take up space in my heart as part of the great loves of my life. It will always be a part of me and will remain one of the best decisions of my life to live here.

But it's time for a new opportunity. This great change came about somewhat surprisingly (even to me), but it makes sense. It feels right. And I am excited.
Yes, I will absolutely miss the friends, the sceneray, the temperate weather, and the comforts of a not-so-challenging job. Absolutely. And if I said I wouldn't miss that stuff, you might as well call me Pinoccio. But what lies ahead is great.
Being in the nation's capitol. Cool. Free museums. History. And on and on.
Add in the closeness of favorites.
And then the proximity to my family.
Plus, the challenges of a new-ish job.
It's good. Really good.
The next few weeks will be crazy. For real crazy. Packing. Spending time in my favorite places, absorbing as much of the PNW as I can before I move away. Packing. Busy with friends, soaking up as much of them as I can before I am on the whole opposite coast. Moving. Putting the pieces in place for the folks who are taking on my current work projects so they have an easy job ahead of them. Completing my program at the UW. Finding a place to live. Learning a new city. Determining which neighborhood will suit me best and easily compare to my beloved Fremont. (Though where else in the world do you have a Troll for a neighbor?!)
It's the quirk that makes Seattle special. It's te quirk that makes it cool.
It's the quirk that I will miss the most.
But I suspect that the Nation's Capitol will have it's own quirkiness to love.
And I am 100% sure that I will fall in love with it there, too.
One never knows when roots will plant firmly into the ground, but for a few years (at least) I think this is a great adevnture!
So, cheers to the old. And cheers to the new.
Here's to happiness all around!

I'm making a comeback...

And hello. .

For those of you who know who LL Cool J is-- say the blog title with his song (titled the same) in your head. Just makes me laugh.

Anyway, I know it's been months. There's been some stuff happening that I wasn't ready to write about and honestly, I just needed a time-out from the computer. Some days I feel like I am chained to a desk all day and the very last thing I want to do at the end of the day is to sit back down and write a blog, or check my email, etc. And I've had homework.

I know, excuses....excuses...but I'm ready to be back.

I even made notes about random things over the course of the last few months with the intention of writing, but just never got around to it. Things to look forward to.

Mostly, I just wanted to let you know that I am in fact alive (as some of you have questioned that fact due to the quiet). And that I am also going to start posting again.

Hopefully, if you still follow, you'll be back.