Life lessons and such

Well, as some of my avid readers have reminded me, it's been awhile. My 34th birthday has long come and gone and I am well on my way into Project 34. I have also had some good life lessons and reminders.

Life lesson 1: Family* is the most important thing.
I have always known this, but have been made acutely aware of this in the last year. I have always known I was a really lucky lady to have the immediate family I have. I love them, but truly enjoy them as well. My extended family is off-the-charts as well. Last year when my job changed and life became uncertain, my family was there to support any decision I made. And they were. I moved in with cousins and my dad and uncle helped me move into my new home in Chicago. It was just what you do for family. I could have done it on my own, but it would have been more difficult. The help of family made it easy.
I was reminded of the importance of my family when my dad underwent unexpected open heart surgery a few months ago. I had expected to be in town for work and extended the travel to stay for Easter. It turned into a more complex plan. It was my turn to be there. It was my turn to support. It was my turn to help make things easier. Obviously, I was not alone in that plan. We supported one another and had networks of people all around us sending love by making calls, sending a text or email, making lunches, or just by being in the room because it was as important to them as it was to me/us. During this time of extreme worry and concern, the family surrounded us to make things easier and to make me/us stronger. I was also reminded of just how much I enjoy the company of my family.
* It is here I should mention that Family means not just the family you are born into, but the friends who become like family.


Life Lesson 2: Mistakes happen and some can't be undone.
This lesson is definitely less happy than the one above but is important as well. I have made mistakes in my life but none that couldn't be undone or fixed with some hard work and an apology. Well, at 34, I finally made a mistake that could not be fixed (at least in the immediate circumstances) by me. I made a huge error at my work and missed a deadline for a sizable grant. It wasn't on purpose, but an apology couldn't fix it. So the organization made the decision to fire me. Even a week later, my heart sinks and I feel physically ill when I say or type that. Fired. Failure. Ugh.
I feel that way because I let myself and others down. I made a mistake, a mistake that I couldn't fix.  Interestingly, while I feel ill about it, it is not because I am separated from the organization. On Wednesday after the conversation with my boss, I almost felt relieved. Don't get me wrong, it is SUPER scary to be without work, especially when it is on someone else's terms and in a way that is not a reflection of your best self. But if I am honest with myself, I really disliked my job. Even on my worst day at previous jobs, I still liked what I was doing and the people I was doing it with. Most recently in my job, I felt I was failing all the time. That was a new feeling for me to have so consistently and leads me to Life Lesson 3.

Life Lesson 3: I require a team.
It is super important for me to have a supportive team environment in my workplace. For almost ten years, I worked virtually and independently but had people to lean on. In my recent experience, I worked alone but really didn't have people to rely on in the same way. I realized I can be independent but need some support. A really good ting to know as I embark on the interviewing process because it's  as important for me to interview them as it is for them to interview me. I may have failed myself when moving into the latest role. I fear I heard what I wanted vs. what they were actually saying, but we will never know for sure. Either way, I learned a lot along the way, both about myself and about what is important to me in a work environment.

Life Lesson 4: I am ridiculously well loved.
I have said this before and will say this again, I consider myself to be a really lucky lady. I have incredible people in my life, both near and far. Throughout the major life changes over the last year and even recently, I was reminded of that fact. I will never be able to thank everyone but will do my best to return the favor and pass along the kindness to others.

I am pleased to report that along with these life circumstances, I have still been working on my Project 34. As I had said in that post, the objectives may shift and they definitely have. I am actively using my FitBit and might be a little obsessed. Since becoming unemployed, I realized there is absolutely no excuse! So far, so good.
The dating thing was going fairly well and then my world kind of turned upside down, so I backed off a bit. But it is a fun way to meet new people and just get out. Doing so, actually helps me meet the objective to try new things! (Love when you can check two things off in one!).
I'll keep you posted on the progress and on the adventures of this period of 'fun'employment (which I hope is SHORT!).
Until next time...

The middle.

Fourteen days from today, I will turn 34. Thirty-four. Um.....What?
I am not afraid of that age, but literally have no idea how or when I got to my mid-thirties! Seriously. WTH?!
I should have connected this when I turned 33 because that is really when you enter the mid-thirty range. Or I should have been aware of this when my little brother turned 32, two months ago. But nope, it took completing my taxes to make the realization! My taxes. Ugh. That grown up thing you do as soon as you start to bring home a paycheck. Life, but not the fun part.
Once this reality hit home, I've started to reflect a bit. Reflect on where I'm at and where I've come from and where I want to go.
In this process I've made the following realizations:

• Since turning 30, I have lived in three different regions of the country
• In the last 6 months, I have lived in 4 (5 if you count the "fake address") homes
• In the last 6 months, I have lived with 3 different families. (An amazing experience, I would not ever change and one that I will be eternally grateful for.)
• Four months ago, my family of 5 turned into 6 when my chubby, perfect nephew became the newest little dude. (I am obsessed with his cuteness and love him more than words will ever express.)
• I have had my autoimmune disease for 10 years. (not a favorite fact but a true one.)
• I met a guy who was a 'good one' and it ended. Sad, but good. And reminded me that falling for someone can be a really good thing!
• Five months ago, I left the company that was 'home' and moved to new city to start a new job.
• Four months ago I found my home. The place where I plan to hang my hat for a long time. Both the city and the actual place! (After reflection, I am done paying to move myself all over the earth or even down the street! I can think of WAY better things to spend money on!)
• In the next six months, both my parents will be retired; the house I grew up in will be sold; the cottage we loved will be part of someone else's memories; and my parents will be living in the house they built together, the house my mom calls "their old folks home".

That's a lot of life to reflect on. Life: it is ever- changing. Much of it is happy and filled with silver linings, even the not-so-good stuff! The above doesn't even begin to cover the full 33 years. I'll save that deep reflection for the next decade. You are welcome. ;)
But as I reflect on my thirties so far, I really like what I see! I've always been self-assured (save the occassional moments we all have) and been driven. But reaching my thirties, I have found I am sure about who I am, what my strenghts and weaknesses really are; sure about the people I have in my regular life; about people who I need to not keep in my life; and so much more. I like it. In fact, I should say I love it.
So, as I enter the middle part of my mid-thirties and look ahead to where I want to go, I have come up with a small list of things I want to focus on before my 35th birthday (when I'm smack in the middle of my thirties!).
I am not one to make New Year's resoltutions. My thinking has always been, why not make that change when you're ready. Why does the new calendar year mean so much? But I do set goals, though I don't always share them outwardly. But this time, I will and we'll see how it goes. Life happens, circumstances change and these are felxible, but the following is a list of things I'd like to work on in my 34th year of life:

1. Once a month, try something new/revisit something old - a new class at the gym, join a pottery class, ice skate again. Whatevs, no rules, just try something different!
2. Aim to walk 55,000 steps every week. This is inspired by two dear pals who started their own journeys for different reasons. I have been inspired! As a person that sits for work, I don't move as much as I should and am inspired to change that! The end goal may change, but I feel like this a good place to start. Maybe 1/2 way to 35, I'll bump it to the ideal 10,000/day, but for now as I begin I want to be realistic about any limitations with time and more importantly, my wonky body.
3. Join a gym. Really, this should have already happened but it hasn't and it needs to, especially because with negative temps and mountains of snow, one really can't get outside to be active!
4. Join a dating website and actually participate! I am sinlge

Basically, I think the list comes down to two things: getting more active and meeting new people.
But broken down to the above four items, it is tangible and measurable. It becomes something to work toward rather than just think about.
So, cheers to the adventures that lie ahead for the middle of the mid-thirties!

Ten Years

This past weekend I was able to join a group of friends for a Las Vegas Birthday celebration. We had a great time and surprised the birthday girl (which is hard for 10 people to pull off!). There were drinks and laughs and some gambling (mostly on the penny machines). But with all the fun, I also realized 21 was a long time ago!

My 21-year-old self would have been very sad to see that I did not consume gallons of alcohol and dance on bars and wear high heels and fancy clothes. Rather I enjoyed a beverage or two, played some penny slots and laughed with a group of friends over meals. My 31-year-old self is quite content with the weekend and the activities that ensued but my 21-year-ol self would be sad. I used to hang with the best of them- we even made an after after-hours bar in our basement, every bartender knew us (and liked us). We (I) was the life of the party.

Ten years doesn't seem that long ago, but it really is. To think about behaving as my 21-year-old self is crazy to me. I had an incredible experience at that age and wouldn't trade any of it, but I would not change who I have become. I enjoy the trade-in of high heels for comfortable shoes, late-nights out in loud bars for laughs over amazing food and waking up with a hangover for super fun weekend brunches. Now that is not to say, I can't fire up every once in awhile because I definately can. But I have to say I like enjoying a good meal with good friends and good conversation much more than I like screaming to hear a comment in a club whist wearing uncomfortable (albeit super cute) shoes.

And if that makes me old--bring it!

All I can think is, "Oh, what a difference ten years makes!"