Reality Bites

Any kid who grew up as a tween/teen/twentysomething in the 90s knows about the movie 'Reality Bites'. It starred all the cool kids from the 90s era (er, hot kids). I was 14 when it came out but probably wasn't allowed to see it until I was older. I am actually certain I didn't watch until much later (strict TV rules around our house). Anyway, the movie is about a group of twenty-somethings struggling to find their way both in their lifestyle and in their careers.
Recently, this movie was on Hulu and I re-watched. Holy cow! I could totally relate to these people I once viewed as a "hot mess"!
Ugh. That isn't a good sign.

In the last few years,  I feel like I have found my way when it comes to lifestyle. I know who I am, I know what I like and within the last year, I found the place I'd like to plant some roots. (yay, Chicago!). But career-wise, I find I am floundering. This is not helped by the fact that I am currently unemployed. (insert a heavy sigh). My wise uncle stated it perfectly when he said I was having a mid-life career crisis. The end-goal I thought I always wanted (non-profit executive director) isn't what I think I want any longer. But then the question comes up, what's next? Where do I see myself in 5, 10, 15 years? At that thought my brain ceases to function. Um? I have NO idea.
Basically my entire career, prior to a year ago,  existed at one company (save a few months when I went elsewhere). The organization I ended up with recently was a really bad fit for me. The confusion comes because that last job supposedly aligned with the next steps in my previous career plan. And now I am almost certain that is not the path I want to take any longer.
So wise-uncle provided me with some excellent career plans to work on. I look at them everyday and make notes and then scratch things right off the list I created just the day before. WTF? How can a driven, motivated person be so lost? The major issue I find is that I can be two people. Not in the "I should be on medication" way but in the I can see myself being happy in many places- a super hippy, dippy do-gooder and a powerful executive ball buster. It is SO FRUSTRATING. To the point, where I am annoying myself. I mean, get it together. Make a plan and stick with it!
In the meantime, I am applying for full-time work that sounds interesting and figure if they call me for an interview I can worry if it will be my happy place or not when that time comes. Thus far, the two interviews I've had have gone well but I didn't get either job. Both came back to me with the "you impressed us and we liked you,  BUT…". (I hate that BUT, btw)
Although they didn't work out, and I am starting to get anxious about not having full time work, I am enjoying my summer. I feel a little like I am on college summer break. You know, where you work random jobs but get to have a flexible schedule and get to spend time with people you love. Thus far, I have in my randomness been a "Vanna White-wannabe" for a marketing event, I walked in a parade, I interviewed to be a river boat tour guide, I've been a copy-editor and an event consultant, a concert runner and marathon start-line lead, and I am well on my way to being Mary Poppins with all the nanny gigs. And next week I am going to be hair model. Seriously.
Really, it could be worse. The hippy-dippy part of me is LOVING all these random experiences and adventures. But the responsible career-lady is FREAKING OUT!
I'll keep living life and having fun, but every morning for 3-5 hours is designated career planning time. Here's hoping a year from now I am in a place where all the pieces are in place and I can look back on this summer as a gift- a time to play, time to spend extra bonus time with those I love, a time to walk 10,000 steps daily, and a time where I really solidified my career path for all kinds of future success!

Life lessons and such

Well, as some of my avid readers have reminded me, it's been awhile. My 34th birthday has long come and gone and I am well on my way into Project 34. I have also had some good life lessons and reminders.

Life lesson 1: Family* is the most important thing.
I have always known this, but have been made acutely aware of this in the last year. I have always known I was a really lucky lady to have the immediate family I have. I love them, but truly enjoy them as well. My extended family is off-the-charts as well. Last year when my job changed and life became uncertain, my family was there to support any decision I made. And they were. I moved in with cousins and my dad and uncle helped me move into my new home in Chicago. It was just what you do for family. I could have done it on my own, but it would have been more difficult. The help of family made it easy.
I was reminded of the importance of my family when my dad underwent unexpected open heart surgery a few months ago. I had expected to be in town for work and extended the travel to stay for Easter. It turned into a more complex plan. It was my turn to be there. It was my turn to support. It was my turn to help make things easier. Obviously, I was not alone in that plan. We supported one another and had networks of people all around us sending love by making calls, sending a text or email, making lunches, or just by being in the room because it was as important to them as it was to me/us. During this time of extreme worry and concern, the family surrounded us to make things easier and to make me/us stronger. I was also reminded of just how much I enjoy the company of my family.
* It is here I should mention that Family means not just the family you are born into, but the friends who become like family.


Life Lesson 2: Mistakes happen and some can't be undone.
This lesson is definitely less happy than the one above but is important as well. I have made mistakes in my life but none that couldn't be undone or fixed with some hard work and an apology. Well, at 34, I finally made a mistake that could not be fixed (at least in the immediate circumstances) by me. I made a huge error at my work and missed a deadline for a sizable grant. It wasn't on purpose, but an apology couldn't fix it. So the organization made the decision to fire me. Even a week later, my heart sinks and I feel physically ill when I say or type that. Fired. Failure. Ugh.
I feel that way because I let myself and others down. I made a mistake, a mistake that I couldn't fix.  Interestingly, while I feel ill about it, it is not because I am separated from the organization. On Wednesday after the conversation with my boss, I almost felt relieved. Don't get me wrong, it is SUPER scary to be without work, especially when it is on someone else's terms and in a way that is not a reflection of your best self. But if I am honest with myself, I really disliked my job. Even on my worst day at previous jobs, I still liked what I was doing and the people I was doing it with. Most recently in my job, I felt I was failing all the time. That was a new feeling for me to have so consistently and leads me to Life Lesson 3.

Life Lesson 3: I require a team.
It is super important for me to have a supportive team environment in my workplace. For almost ten years, I worked virtually and independently but had people to lean on. In my recent experience, I worked alone but really didn't have people to rely on in the same way. I realized I can be independent but need some support. A really good ting to know as I embark on the interviewing process because it's  as important for me to interview them as it is for them to interview me. I may have failed myself when moving into the latest role. I fear I heard what I wanted vs. what they were actually saying, but we will never know for sure. Either way, I learned a lot along the way, both about myself and about what is important to me in a work environment.

Life Lesson 4: I am ridiculously well loved.
I have said this before and will say this again, I consider myself to be a really lucky lady. I have incredible people in my life, both near and far. Throughout the major life changes over the last year and even recently, I was reminded of that fact. I will never be able to thank everyone but will do my best to return the favor and pass along the kindness to others.

I am pleased to report that along with these life circumstances, I have still been working on my Project 34. As I had said in that post, the objectives may shift and they definitely have. I am actively using my FitBit and might be a little obsessed. Since becoming unemployed, I realized there is absolutely no excuse! So far, so good.
The dating thing was going fairly well and then my world kind of turned upside down, so I backed off a bit. But it is a fun way to meet new people and just get out. Doing so, actually helps me meet the objective to try new things! (Love when you can check two things off in one!).
I'll keep you posted on the progress and on the adventures of this period of 'fun'employment (which I hope is SHORT!).
Until next time...

Just a Girl and her car...

I am rethinking the name of this blog lately. It seems all my recent travel adventures are in my car- alone. Maybe rename the blog-- Just a Girl and Her Car? Well, I'll keep thinking on that and will keep you posted. In the meantime, here's the latest update on travel adventures and lesson- learned about living in the Pacific Northwest.

This past weekend, I thought I would take a quick trip to Bend, OR to see my old, dear friends before they go back to their summer home in Juneau, AK. Now, since I am still learning about this neck of the woods, I checked mapquest and saw that I had to drive directly through Portland, OR to get there. I have some great pals in Portland that I definately do not see often enough, so decided to break up the 6 hour drive and make some plans with them for Sunday night and into Monday (for a work date day).

The roadtrip was going well- decent weather (read: not rainy*), good tunes, and the open road. I don't know what it is about driving on an open road listening to amazing music that makes my heart so happy. I stopped for a FOFFEE**, and was delighted to see the things I was going to see once I passed through Portland (up to Portland, it's just a highway, kind of gross and not scenic). As I was approaching the area where the city gives way to trees, small towns, and countryside, the clouds were getting a little darker. And as I drove to higher elevation- the skies opened up a little with some rain and then hail. I was still not deterred- what's a little rain and hail? Really? (remember this whole mountain thing is new to me).

Then some cars were coming westbound with some snow on them- not every car but most of them. The skies were getting a little darker and the mountain that I could kind of see earlier, I could no longer see at all. At this point, there was a little feeling, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I passed a place that sold snow tires and chains. And then another, and another one further down the road. So, I got a little nervous and then saw the flashing sign- Chains or Snow Tires REQUIRED 6 miles ahead. Now, as a person new to this whole mountain travel thing I did wonder how important that REALLY was. There was a brief moment of pause thinking I could get through, I know how to drive in snow. Then the voice of reason kicked in and I stopped. I might have snow tires, but I should check just to be sure. I looked and had NO clue, so called the two people I just knew would know (my papa and the dude). Of course, neither picked up. Then I called two others who might know and they didn't pick up either. So, I sucked it up and went into the little store.

The men running the store were clearly annoyed by my stupidity.

Q: Who doesn't check the mountina report before heading down from Seattle? A: A girl who doesn't know there is a mountain between her and her destination (I didn't actually admit that at first.)

Q: What kind of tires do you have? A: Well, two are new. I don't know how to tell if they are snow tires or not.

Q( well, more commandment): Go and look for a little snowflake on the tire. A: OK (I checked and obvs did not have a snowflake or anything other than a serial number on the tires).

Q: What size chains do you need? A: Um, I grew up far from mountains and have lived in AZ for six years. I don't know how this works.

Tweedle Dee (nice counter guy): Let me get out there and see what we can do.

Tweedle Dum (not-so-nice counter guy): She can fiugre it out herself.

Me: Um, okay?

Dee: She's from Arizona, she needs help.

Dum: (rolling his eyes) Fine, but this is the last stupid motorist we are helping today. People should be prepared.

Me: Sir, I hear you and am sorry. My dad would be appalled that I wasn't aware of all this, but I promise next time I will know better and will be prepared or cancel the trip. Honestly, I didn't even know there was a mountain pass involved. I'm sorry.

Well, apparently, the divulgence of the lack of mountain pass knowledge was what he needed to hear because he just started to laugh and was like, "oh honey- we'll get you all set up. Don't you worry".

Really, dude? 5 minutes ago you were ready to throw me out of the store. (I really didn't say that, but wanted to).

They fitted the tires, but didn't have any in stock. Long story short: 4 stores later- no one had the right ones in stock.

By the time the adventure was over an hour at passed and there were at least 2 inches of snow had fallen! (Definately explained all the cars with snow headed westward!) I had to get the hell out of there. So, Portland became Plan B. Thanks to some good friends who work on an impromptu schedule I had an enjoyable evening and an even more enjoyable brunch (My favorite meal!).

So, the lessons learned on this one--

1- Before any trip out of the Seattle area, check for mountains and mountain passes.

2- Like any good Michigander knows--pack for all kinds of weather, even in the springtime!

3- Have a plan B in mind...just in case.

Good thing the next trip is on an airplane.

*Fun Fact (or not so much): I learned last night that of the lasy 90 days, only 20 were partly cloudy and/or fair. Yep, that means 70 days were cloudy, rainy, or stormy. Ugh! I need a reminder of why I live here again. Yikes, that is a lot of rain, cold and wet.

**Foffee is a term my friend's daughter coined when seeing her get an afternoon coffee ready. So afternoons coffees have since been known as "FOFFEE". Really, it's just fun!