The Red Kettle and me

 

Sometimes in life there are things that are just meant to be. Unbeknownst to me, I think I was destined to work for The Salvation Army. I was more than hesitant about working here for the first few days (maybe weeks), just based on some interviews and then my first few weeks. It was not the best start to any job. Thankfully, it has turned around and become a place I am really excited to go every day and am excited about the work I do and the people I do it with. But really what I am most excited about is the change that The Army makes in the world. They (rather, we) make a significant positive to the community we are in.

The reason I started this post by saying sometimes you are just destined to be part of something is that ever since I can remember, I put money into the red kettles. I am not sure where it started or how, but in high school I would save my change all year (in jars or more likely bowls) and then starting at Thanksgiving I would put handfuls of change in my pockets before I took a trip anywhere. When I was in high school, the mall was THE PLACE to go to socialize, hang with friends, eat- basically do anything. And we lived less than a mile from the mall. So if I wasn't at a school or church function, you'd likely find me at the mall with friends. And in my Letterman's jacket that jingled and jangled with its metals, so pockets full of change didn't really make a sound. I would just empty my pockets as we entered the mall. My friends would sometimes tease me and ask why. My response was always the same- it just seems like a good thing to do. What else should I do with all that change. Sometimes, they'd add more. And my less than good friends would roll their eyes and keep going (probably a reason we aren't lifelong pals!).

Well, fast forward, 20 plus years and according to my neice, I am in charge of all those red kettle pople (not true, but funny!). One of my tasks is taking care of our local celebrity ringers. Read: weather people (um, LOVE!), newscasters, mascots, firemen, and others at the Celebrity Corner downtown Chicago. While being out there, I have witnessed the beauty and goodness of humanity (and some craziness, too!). In particular, this last Friday as I was ringing by myself while I waited for the firemen to arrive, a man who was obviously down on his luck came up to the bucket and folded up a $5 bill and put it in the kettle. He told me that "The Salvation Army helps him everyday. That we make his life the best it can be and just give love". He wished me a Merry Christmas and went on his way. I was choking back tears and thanked him and wished him a Merry Christmas.
This. This is the best of humanity. The people that have the least amount to share, share the most. $5 has never seemed like so much. It's been a few days and I am still teary eyed when I see his face in my minds eye. He is the reason we stand at a kettle and ring a bell. He is the reason to give during the holiday season. He is the good in the world.

As I've gotten older and use less and less cash (much to Frank's dismay!), I don't have a years worth of change to share. But I do put what I have in the kettle- even before I really knew all the good that TSA does!
But now that I know and am much more aware of the options to give and the amazing ROI that comes from kettles (nearly 90 cents for every dollar is used for programs- meals, housing, emergency services), I decided to start an online kettle. My goal is to raise $1000. I set that goal because two of our kettles were stolen and it equated to about $1000 worth of loss. If you're inclined and don't always have cash but want to put money in a kettle- consider a gift here:

http://give.salvationarmyusa.org/goto/Jessica_Zamarripa

Thanks for helping me "Do the Most Good"

Love and Merry Christmas! 

Jessica

Back to School.

This post is about 8 weeks late. (Shocker).


After an incredible summer that I have termed "grown-up summer vacation" and likely one of the bet summers I have had in years, I am officially back to work. I am working at a boarding school for at-risk youth outside of the city, practically in Indiana. It's not the necessarily the job I had in mind but I really think it's exactly the right fit (save the commute, but we'll get to that).
When I accepted the job and called my mom to tell her, not only was she relived I was back into the world of full time people, but she was audibly excited that I was working at a school. SHe has always thought I would make an excellent teacher. So did others. In 9th grade Livonia Public Schools does (or used to do) a career aptitude assessment. At the time I had aspirations to be a psychologist and live in Seattle because it rained there all the time and people are depressed because of it. I liked (and still do) the rain so figured I'd be happy and get rich. If only it were that easy. But alas my assessment, along with my best pal Lisa Fab, came back and told me that was 90% fit to be a teacher. In 9th grade, with mothers who taught preschoolers together, Lisa and I were appalled. And I may have been a little offended. A Teacher?? As if! I would never make a boat load of money as a teacher. No thank you! Funny how the 9th grade version of yourself doesn't really know what is best. ;)
As it turns out, Lisa did become a teacher and from what I understand is a very good one at that. And of course throughout the years I have been a teacher in varying capacities-- trainer, kids swim instructor. It turns out the assessment was fairly accurate and that my mother is right (pretty much always is), I am a good teacher. Hmmmm.
Granted I am not a teacher at the school, but the Director of Special Events. I don't have the burden privilege of molding young lives but do get to hear them running around outside, engaging with one another. And because I can't just be uninvolved I am volunteering one night at week in the uber amazing KidsShop (art studio) and get to interact with the students there. It is so fun!
Plus, in my actual day-to-day, I actually have a team. I see people and laugh with people and meet with people instead of email or phone, all day everyday! My corner office has become somewhat of a social spot (I know...surprise!) due in part to it's size and the fact that I have treats on the corner table. ;) But it's really great. They really support one another and me.
The only major negative is the commute. It is brutal. It's not something I want to choose to do everyday for the foreseeable future so I will likely have a new address in the coming months somewhere in the south loop (or elsewhere) to cut the commute in 1/2. That bums me out a bit because I LOVE my neighborhood,  but I know the new space will be as wonderful as every other place I have ever lived, maybe better!
All in all, the end to summer vacation has been better than expected.

Reality Bites

Any kid who grew up as a tween/teen/twentysomething in the 90s knows about the movie 'Reality Bites'. It starred all the cool kids from the 90s era (er, hot kids). I was 14 when it came out but probably wasn't allowed to see it until I was older. I am actually certain I didn't watch until much later (strict TV rules around our house). Anyway, the movie is about a group of twenty-somethings struggling to find their way both in their lifestyle and in their careers.
Recently, this movie was on Hulu and I re-watched. Holy cow! I could totally relate to these people I once viewed as a "hot mess"!
Ugh. That isn't a good sign.

In the last few years,  I feel like I have found my way when it comes to lifestyle. I know who I am, I know what I like and within the last year, I found the place I'd like to plant some roots. (yay, Chicago!). But career-wise, I find I am floundering. This is not helped by the fact that I am currently unemployed. (insert a heavy sigh). My wise uncle stated it perfectly when he said I was having a mid-life career crisis. The end-goal I thought I always wanted (non-profit executive director) isn't what I think I want any longer. But then the question comes up, what's next? Where do I see myself in 5, 10, 15 years? At that thought my brain ceases to function. Um? I have NO idea.
Basically my entire career, prior to a year ago,  existed at one company (save a few months when I went elsewhere). The organization I ended up with recently was a really bad fit for me. The confusion comes because that last job supposedly aligned with the next steps in my previous career plan. And now I am almost certain that is not the path I want to take any longer.
So wise-uncle provided me with some excellent career plans to work on. I look at them everyday and make notes and then scratch things right off the list I created just the day before. WTF? How can a driven, motivated person be so lost? The major issue I find is that I can be two people. Not in the "I should be on medication" way but in the I can see myself being happy in many places- a super hippy, dippy do-gooder and a powerful executive ball buster. It is SO FRUSTRATING. To the point, where I am annoying myself. I mean, get it together. Make a plan and stick with it!
In the meantime, I am applying for full-time work that sounds interesting and figure if they call me for an interview I can worry if it will be my happy place or not when that time comes. Thus far, the two interviews I've had have gone well but I didn't get either job. Both came back to me with the "you impressed us and we liked you,  BUT…". (I hate that BUT, btw)
Although they didn't work out, and I am starting to get anxious about not having full time work, I am enjoying my summer. I feel a little like I am on college summer break. You know, where you work random jobs but get to have a flexible schedule and get to spend time with people you love. Thus far, I have in my randomness been a "Vanna White-wannabe" for a marketing event, I walked in a parade, I interviewed to be a river boat tour guide, I've been a copy-editor and an event consultant, a concert runner and marathon start-line lead, and I am well on my way to being Mary Poppins with all the nanny gigs. And next week I am going to be hair model. Seriously.
Really, it could be worse. The hippy-dippy part of me is LOVING all these random experiences and adventures. But the responsible career-lady is FREAKING OUT!
I'll keep living life and having fun, but every morning for 3-5 hours is designated career planning time. Here's hoping a year from now I am in a place where all the pieces are in place and I can look back on this summer as a gift- a time to play, time to spend extra bonus time with those I love, a time to walk 10,000 steps daily, and a time where I really solidified my career path for all kinds of future success!

The middle.

Fourteen days from today, I will turn 34. Thirty-four. Um.....What?
I am not afraid of that age, but literally have no idea how or when I got to my mid-thirties! Seriously. WTH?!
I should have connected this when I turned 33 because that is really when you enter the mid-thirty range. Or I should have been aware of this when my little brother turned 32, two months ago. But nope, it took completing my taxes to make the realization! My taxes. Ugh. That grown up thing you do as soon as you start to bring home a paycheck. Life, but not the fun part.
Once this reality hit home, I've started to reflect a bit. Reflect on where I'm at and where I've come from and where I want to go.
In this process I've made the following realizations:

• Since turning 30, I have lived in three different regions of the country
• In the last 6 months, I have lived in 4 (5 if you count the "fake address") homes
• In the last 6 months, I have lived with 3 different families. (An amazing experience, I would not ever change and one that I will be eternally grateful for.)
• Four months ago, my family of 5 turned into 6 when my chubby, perfect nephew became the newest little dude. (I am obsessed with his cuteness and love him more than words will ever express.)
• I have had my autoimmune disease for 10 years. (not a favorite fact but a true one.)
• I met a guy who was a 'good one' and it ended. Sad, but good. And reminded me that falling for someone can be a really good thing!
• Five months ago, I left the company that was 'home' and moved to new city to start a new job.
• Four months ago I found my home. The place where I plan to hang my hat for a long time. Both the city and the actual place! (After reflection, I am done paying to move myself all over the earth or even down the street! I can think of WAY better things to spend money on!)
• In the next six months, both my parents will be retired; the house I grew up in will be sold; the cottage we loved will be part of someone else's memories; and my parents will be living in the house they built together, the house my mom calls "their old folks home".

That's a lot of life to reflect on. Life: it is ever- changing. Much of it is happy and filled with silver linings, even the not-so-good stuff! The above doesn't even begin to cover the full 33 years. I'll save that deep reflection for the next decade. You are welcome. ;)
But as I reflect on my thirties so far, I really like what I see! I've always been self-assured (save the occassional moments we all have) and been driven. But reaching my thirties, I have found I am sure about who I am, what my strenghts and weaknesses really are; sure about the people I have in my regular life; about people who I need to not keep in my life; and so much more. I like it. In fact, I should say I love it.
So, as I enter the middle part of my mid-thirties and look ahead to where I want to go, I have come up with a small list of things I want to focus on before my 35th birthday (when I'm smack in the middle of my thirties!).
I am not one to make New Year's resoltutions. My thinking has always been, why not make that change when you're ready. Why does the new calendar year mean so much? But I do set goals, though I don't always share them outwardly. But this time, I will and we'll see how it goes. Life happens, circumstances change and these are felxible, but the following is a list of things I'd like to work on in my 34th year of life:

1. Once a month, try something new/revisit something old - a new class at the gym, join a pottery class, ice skate again. Whatevs, no rules, just try something different!
2. Aim to walk 55,000 steps every week. This is inspired by two dear pals who started their own journeys for different reasons. I have been inspired! As a person that sits for work, I don't move as much as I should and am inspired to change that! The end goal may change, but I feel like this a good place to start. Maybe 1/2 way to 35, I'll bump it to the ideal 10,000/day, but for now as I begin I want to be realistic about any limitations with time and more importantly, my wonky body.
3. Join a gym. Really, this should have already happened but it hasn't and it needs to, especially because with negative temps and mountains of snow, one really can't get outside to be active!
4. Join a dating website and actually participate! I am sinlge

Basically, I think the list comes down to two things: getting more active and meeting new people.
But broken down to the above four items, it is tangible and measurable. It becomes something to work toward rather than just think about.
So, cheers to the adventures that lie ahead for the middle of the mid-thirties!

Here I go again...

should have been posted on 9/10

So, in my ever-changing, ever-adventurous world, here comes another change---
In simplest terms-- I am moving to Chicago. I am leaving the company I have worked for over 9 years.

deep breaths, deep breaths....

I am excited to start a new chapter. I am excited to do something new and build on the amazing experiences I have had- both in and out of my work world. Working there allowed me to see things I likely would not have otherwise seen, and experiened things I would not have, and met people who are my soulmates.

More than a fabulous job, being there I grew up. I started out almost right out of college-- fresh and naive. Not knowing what it meant to have a "real" job. Was working from home really a "real" job I was often asked (for years in some cases). I sometimes asked myself the same thing when it was 4pm and I still wasn't dressed for the day. But it was. At times it was very intense. And at times it was pure silly. It wasn't perfect, nothing is. But it was pretty darn great for a really long time.

But it was time to find something new. If I'm being honest it was probably past time, but it's super hard to leave something you love. In an embarssing commentary to the VP of the company, I compared it to a break up with your boyfriend you love but you know you just aren't meant to marry. You love them, wish them no ill will, want to keep in touch (really), and genuinely want to be friends but you just can't be together anymore. It's all true. And yes, I actually said that to the guy who pays my salary (win.).

It wasn't an easy decision to make. I still love this job and the people I work with. I am surrounded by friends. Friends, some which, have become family.
When wasting some night time the other day I found this quote from Winnie The Pooh, of all places. It just spoke to me. Directly to exactly what I am feeling.

"How Lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."- Winnie The Pooh

But goodbye it will be. And onto new and exciting adventures in the Windy City. Where maybe I'll stay put for a bit.

the end of the year

Since I have been a tad busy getting settled, drving to and from work, moving a few times, traveling to New York, helping some friends, and most importantly chatting with my various housemates, I have not been as good about updating the blog. Prorities.
But I have missed writing my thoughts and feelings and observations in all of this change and adventure. There has been so much to take in- good things and some sad.

The last few weeks in DC/Maryland were hectic. I was trying to pull together an event in three weeks time that I normally spend months planning. I felt immense pressure to pass it off as done as humanly possible. My last day was extended due to that, which I was just fine with. It allowed me time to put all these big changes away for just a little more time. I am exceptional at compartmetalizing. It's how I deal well with crisis. I focus on the issue at hand and fall apart afterward. So the last week was filled with meetings, outings, saying goodbye. I got a little teary but more than anything I was focused on the task at hand. And then came Friday and packaging up my laptop to be sent back. And a lunch with a friend. And it hit me. Literally took my breath away, for just a second. I was leaving a city I'd mastered and learned to love in a year of getting beat-up. I was leaving a job I'd had for almost ten years and one I still liked. I was leaving behind almost my whole career. And I was picking up to move to a new city and start a new job in two days. Whoa. deep breaths.

As I was headed back to the little ladies for one last sleepover at their house and one last night with one of my all-time favorite housemates (no offense to anyone else!), I got so sad. Not because I was scared of the decision I'd made, but sad to leave such a special year behind. In that year, I'd conquered a city. I'd fallen deeply in love with my favorite little people. I'd learned how fast and deep a friendship can grow.I'd learned what I am made of. I really learned how very lucky I am. And I was humbled by the love I have been shown.

Saturday, in Ferd Schulte fashion (meaning really early), I got up and started the adventure. I had one last infusion treatment(because why wouldn't that be the case) and then I hit the road and headed toward the mitten. I had a 9 hour drive through the hills and highways. A mix of good music and time alone --jobless (for 2 days) and homeless. I got home and relished in the large sized bed (I had been sleeping in a 3/4 bed-- short and fat twin bed, really) and got excited that I could sleep in on Sunday. finally. ;)

Sunday I got up and attem- hit up a coffee and bagel place and headed toward Chicago in the rain. My moves tend to have the background of rain, I tak it as a positive sign. Like the planet is cleansing me of the old so I can start fresh and new or something. (wow, that was really hippy dippy! But I'm sticking with it.)

I got to my new temporary home, knocked and was immediately welcomed with squeals of delight from the other side of the door. So cute and perfect.
I unloaded (with the help of my new housemates), got the tour and the favorite books orientation, then had a homecooked dinner. The adults shared tips for getting to the office the next day and we talked about grown up things.
And Monday I started my job.

We'll end the story there for now.


DC friends Goodbye bar crawl.

C and Mags on our "ice cream for breakfast date"

Sammie and Erica



the packed car





the new roomies

 

Maybe Frank Sinatra was right...

When he crooned, "Chicago is my kind of town".
I guess I will see in another few weeks, if it's true for me.

The other day, I made the difficult choice to leave a job I have loved for ten years. The new opportunity is really the direction I want to go, but to say goodbye to what I've know and what's comfortable-- not always easy, but I can predict outcomes and to move on to the unknown is terrifying, exciting, and so many other things.

I have so much more to say, but will only hope I feel like Frank when it comes to city that I will soon call home---

Now this could only happen to a guy (gal) like me 
And only happen in a town like this 
So may I say to each of you most gratef'lly 
As I throw each one of you a kiss 

This is my kind of town, Chicago is 
My kind of town, Chicago is 
My kind of people, too 
People who smile at you 

And each time I roam, Chicago is 
Calling me home, Chicago is 
Why I just grin like a clown 
It's my kind of town